And isn’t that a miracle? To go to bed one person and to wake up another! And everybody, knowing you petrifying  from this metamorphosis! Parents lay hands to your forehead, whether you ill?” Friends are concerned,  with such melancholy” and suggest to drink! Darling (ha – ha!) looks in eyes with anxiety every minute, saying in the end that you have found another one!

And only you are quiet and amusing in this routine world which has wallowed in inertia of stereotypes, prejudices and bias! He becomes the best only for you, he is forged for you, by your unique scenario!



It’s in your nature to destroy yourself!


I have pledged to change to myself! I am firm in the intention and no temptations will lead me astray! I mentally forgive all and I apologize to those whom have offended. I am positively tuned, I smile, my soul exults! Really everything is so simple? My days pass in a great mood!


But there are no cardinal changes. There is a boredom and disappointment again!


And suddenly there my internal double appears against who I have won so triumphantly and who didn’t appear  within this kind week!

He  softly takes me away from a long and right way, convincingly inviting to a short and habitual way of my trivial life full of the repeating mistakes!

My positive thoughts are replaced by negative: I condemn all, I envy, I absorb movies full of violence and horror! The habitual fear and concern appear in me again.

Whether I will be able to follow a way true again? Who knows?



Vanity! It is motivation which moved history it is unknown where in progress or regress! Alexander the Great, Caesar, Napoleon – all of them movable by this passion have brought to society both positive and negative!

But there were persons above this human sin! Leo Tolstoy, the Writer Jean Paul Sartre, the winner of 1964, has also refused an award for the sake of the beliefs. Tolstoy considered that it’s this prize connected with money and money he thought was the real reason of all evil!



Sartre has answered all questions which were set asked him about it quite accurately that in a present situation the Nobel Prize in practice represents the award intended for writers of the West or “rebels” from the East. Sartre considered that the award is got only by certain grades of writers, those talented and worthy awards the writers who aren’t suitable under a grade, will never get awards.


However the behavior of the Russian mathematician Grigory Perelman was the real sneer at vanity. In 1991  the award to “The young mathematician” of the St. Petersburg mathematical society for work of “Alexandrov’s space with the curvature limited from below” .


In 1996 the Award of the European mathematical society for young mathematicians , but he has refused to receive it.

In 2006 to Grigori Perelman for the solution of a hypothesis of Poincare the international award “Medal Fildsa” is awarded (an official formulation at rewarding: “For a contribution to geometry and his revolutionary ideas to studying of geometrical and analytical structure of a flow of Ricci”), however he has refused also her [35].

In March, 2010 the Clay Mathematics Institute has awarded to Grigori Perelman with one million US dollars for the proof of a hypothesis of Poincare that became the winning of the award first in the history for the solution of one of Problems of the millennium. In June, 2010 Perelman has ignored a mathematical conference in Paris at which delivery of “An award of the millennium” for the proof of a hypothesis of Poincare was supposed, and on July 1, 2010 has  announced the refusal of an award, having motivated it as follows:

I have refused. You know, I had many reasons both in that, and in other side. Therefore I was deciding so long . If to speak absolutely shortly, then the main reason is disagreement with organized mathematical community. I don’t like their decisions, I consider them unfair. I consider that the contribution to the solution of this task of the American mathematician Hamilton isn’t less at all, than mine!

Is that madness? Or, may be madness is our way of thinking? If he like other great personalities soared up over the material world,  isn’t he more powerful than everyone?

And what you’re thinking about it?


All of us thinking  of how to find a happiness. Some found it in favorite work, others in their darlings! Others look for it or, without having  found give up and live by an inertia.

The third make the life of themselves miserable unnecessary freight of thoughts! You remember the immortal movie of Milos Forman One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? One of the patients, the old man infinitely goes on: I am tired, tired, tired! This is a dwelling of mentally sick person: actually he was tired of own notions of compulsion!


Like this madman some of us suffer from the fact that drag unnecessary freight. It is freight of bricks which is dragged voluntarily! This burden reminds senseless work of Sisyphus who was lifting a stone on the mountain, and the stone was rolling down  again and again. It consists of persuasive memoirs which dazzle with your last mistakes and haunt you! All make mistakes, nobody is perfect! In the commitment to excellence we try to erase all undesirable episodes of our life or to correct them. But it is necessary to forgive even yourself!


Otherwise we assimilate to the hero of the novel of Stefan Zweig Amok. He having made a mistake in life haunts himself and makes the life miserable for himself and for others. At the end he finishes with suicide.

And you know in what the reason of it? The reason is that we were taught everything, but not love and respect to ourselves! Sometimes we have to love ourselves, spare our thoughts, be able to distract from them! Don’t be a slave of your desires, dominate over them!

Just look around! How long you didn’t admire by the marvelous beauty of the nature, a unique sunset, fascinating murmur of water, a charm of women, twitter of birds, squeal of children? The prince Andrew from the novel War and Peace of Leo Tolstoy lies on the battlefield of Austerlitz with a banner in hands, and his eyes are directed in bottomless blue of the infinite sky. Napoleon passing by, seeing the prince Andrew with a banner in hands delightfully says: That’s a beautiful death!

But the prince Andrew doesn’t hear him, he is surprised: how he didn’t see so blue and bottomless sky earlier? And Napoleon, his idol seems so miserable on the background of this bottomless sky!


Remember: thousands  who confined to the bed of unfortunate would dream to be on your place!

My elder brother was dying in my parents hands. His last words were: Mom! I can’t say you good – bye! He was only 13!


Look at a peaceful sky over you and rejoice! Because in there are places where bombs fall on women and children where the brutal fanatics blow up themselves and others! Where not joyful squeal of children, but crying over their killed mothers, children, fathers is heard! My God, what’s happened with you!

And you are busy with the insignificant problems which aren’t allowing your ego to begin to live happily! Release everything! Forget about today and tomorrow! Feel today, here, and now!